To myself

Today, marked another heart broken day of my life. It wasn't that hurtful compared to the previous ones, but more to 不甘心. My ego is high, that I can't afford to be rejected. Am I not good enough? Why am I being rejected again and again? I know I did not set my heart right before God, that's why everything is not in my favor?

Father, I'm desperate, why is all these happening to me? Where is my breakthrough? What is my purpose in life? Who am I? How can I be better? I really don't know who to cry to. I'm not use to talking out my feelings, I always tell people I'm strong, actually I know I'm not. I'm just an ordinary girl who has a soft heart that easily be broken.

God, I know that from the start You're always there for me, You never leave, You were there all the times, waiting for me to turn back. Father, I know, thank you for speaking to me, reminding me that You are always there no matter what happens.

Father, help me, I got training and test tomorrow, I know I need to study, but I can't help, I just couldn't focus. Father, help me, heal my broken heart. I want a breakthrough. I want to be the one standing out there sharing testimony on how God changed me. I want to be extraordinary. How can I be the daughter You are proud of?

God, help me. :(