Day 17 without Chong Kah Weng

I dreamt about you again. I wished I could never wake up. Mummy asked me about you. I told her everything. I thought I'm over with it, but I broke down. I cried. I still couldn't believe you left me for  her. I got Shan to text you, try to know what you are thinking. But results is not what I want.

You choose her over me. Shan got mad at me, she thinks that I don't trust her. She angry at me using her to stalk you. What can I do? There is no other way I could do to know how are you. I am so desperate to save our relationship that I spend up to rm1k to buy books that teach me how to chase you back. I think I'm just too ridiculous. But I can't help. I hope all these things can help me win back your heart.

God, I'm sorry, I said I will surrender everything unto Your hand, but I still tries to do it myself. I really hope I could just leave everything to you, I do not want to carry this burden with me. God please help me. Guide me through this tough season. Reveal Yourself to me. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.