Day 15 without Chong Kah Weng

It's been a long day for me, what about you? I wondered what have you done today. I woke up midnight because I heard my phone got message. I thought it may be you, so I read it, knowing that wasn't you makes my heart a lil disappointed. Dreamt about you every night, dreamt that we are still together, all that happened wasn't real. Woke up realised it was just a dream, makes my heart feeling down.

I talked to Tek today, thought that maybe I should listen from guy's opinion and advice, indeed guy really has different view and advice from girl. He said do give you some times but at the same time just stay close to you, let you know that I'm always here. He told me that last time he used to kept everything to himself, that is really unhealthy, relationships are supposed to have some transparency. He mentioned we should talk it out. I wish I could, I really want to know what are you thinking and feeling. I just wish you could opened up to me.

He suggested that I should just somehow stay connected to you. I thank God that I choose to work for your dad, at least I still can use this to talk to you. I wished you could text me a lil more. But I know that's impossible. Kill my time by watching running man, then I went gym today. Thought I could go for Zumba class, but class cancelled. So I did leg. Now my leg is so tired. I lost 3 kg in 2 weeks, I'm amazed. Wondered is it because all those tears that flows out of my body. Or is it because I didn't have the appetite to eat.

You seems like less active in your whatsapp. I wondered why. I've been stalking your last seen. But your last seen always very long ago. I know I should give you time and space, but I just couldn't get you off my mind. If I drop by and leave some stuff in your room, will you get annoyed? Or will you think of me and miss me?

Then I thought, if I ask you out for dinner or movie, will you go with me? There are so many things that I want to do with you.. I wished you could just turn around and look at me. I'm always here.

Then I remembered one of the Taiwanese movie, The Stolen Years. If I woke up losing some part of the memories, the last thing I remembered is we are happily together, and I find you back, after knowing that I lost some part of the memory, will you be so cruel to tell me the truth? Or maybe I could win back your heart just like the girl in the movie.. There are so many things I thought about, like later on how can I connect you? How can I get in touch with you to try to flirt you back and win your heart back.

How can I stay connected with you? Maybe I should try to pick up some sports, then ask where do you usually go to play. I really want to stay connected to you, but at the same time, I do not want to pressure you. I don't mind we become friend, at least friends still chat. I wondered if you stalk me? Just maybe, you still care for me..

God, I surrender everything unto Your hand, I trust You for Your planning. I know things happened for a reason. I need to grow stronger, and tougher. I pray for Kah Weng's salvation, pray that you place the right people in his life to bring him back to You. He is not a bad guy, just that he has wandered away from his path. Lord I pray you will bring him back. In Jesus most powerful name I pray, Amen.